Then we went off to Ka Jah's place. Had tahlil, makan tiga hari. More food! Gosh.. i wont be surprised if im putting on weight =P
Next... we're going to watch 'Exorcism of Emily Rose'... not my choice of movie. But everyone's going. And it has been a while since the last group outing. So, might as well. Gona be back home late. Ryt now, im just 'resting' while waiting for the time to pass =P
My emotions are a pain again! I cant keep feeling like this. It hurts like hell. I dont wana be in this place. I wish i was sumwhere else *sigh* I miss the old days =( I miss the old life =( Things have changed. I've felt hurt... but it has never reached this level. Im at a place where i wish i could cut myself so that i could concentrate the pain there. *sigh* I wana be with my family, so i can forget all this. Ryt now.. all i can do to forget it all is by sleeping. Unless i can sleep forever, the pain will never end.
I've done so much for making other people happy. But i forgot to let myself be happy. I've helped so much, but never really had time to help myself. No one understands me. I've showed how strong i am... but beneath it all, there's just this weak, helpless little `ol me. I smile to hide the pain, i laugh to hide the sadness and sometimes i shout to let the pain out. But no matter what i do... nothing helps. Nothing will. Unless some miracle happens. Sometimes i wish i didnt have feelings, didnt care about anyting but myself. But that's just me. And this is all i can give. I have to deal with it. Take it as a challenge and hopefully i'll survive.
A broken angel fell from the sky. Waiting for a miracle to happen. Living in darkness and stranded in the middle of nowhere. With pain and hurt, that just wont go away. It alwez come back to haunt me.
Tear drop Saturday, November 26, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli