Watched a movie last nite with my housemates and the metal crowd. The usual gang..hehe. Then they came over to hang out again. But we stopped over at Venus to buy some food. More junkies... very healthy! (sense the sarcasm? =P) That's why im gona cook tonite, some 'healthy' food hopefully, just feel like eating rice... after a while of eating take aways. Having some people over for dinner. The more the merrier .. yea?

oh btw .... HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE! Its an hour past midnyt in Brunei ... it's 7 more hours to midnyt here! Gona go to Winter Wonderland with the others. There's like a carnival and stuffs. From what i recall last year, there should also be ppl performing on stage. And when it reaches midnyt, ada fireworks! coolies~ hehehe.

I miss home.. i miss my family! I wana spend new years with them. Anyhoo... im off dulu... Gona blog again later.. insyallah! If not, tomorrow lah.. Mwahs! n Enjoy ur New Years peeps. Hope u had a wonderful 2005... and will have an excellent 2006. I hope i do! =) Mwahs!

Tear drop Saturday, December 31, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Im waiting in line for the toilet ryt now. Its about 2pm ... its sooo gloomy today, i tot it was 10am. *Sigh* That's half of the day gone =P

Anyhoo.... Yesterday it snowed lightly... but it was beautiful =) But it damn cold! Went to Cardiff Bay yesterday with wyverne peeps + Ka Sam, metal street guys, jip, khai, fadz and of course may street =P It was much fun! Played at the arcade. Played pool. But in the end, we found sumwhere to sit.. and played cards .. haha! I think we're addicted to Big Two.

Everyone decided to crash at our place. But as we reached the front door .. and tried to open it... our keys wouldnt go in!!! Siah's key was on the other side of the door. Nasib Ka Sam's hand was so tiny .. she could reach in.. but we had to unscrew the mailbox thingie. Finally, ka sam reached the key chain but unfortunately, she broke it.. hehe. Then i tried using my key .. and it finally went in and dapat buka the door! Omg! Were we so happy n relieved! haha! Thanks to those yg help out! =)

So everyone crashed at out place, playing uno, jenga and big two. Oh btw, did i mention it was Bawee's bday? HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY BAWEE!! He treated us to lots of pizzas. Enuff for everyone. ThankieS! =) After a while, wyverne crowd went back, but as usual the guys stayed behind, played big two and samchong (sp?). I know how to play it dah... and as a first timer, i won 4 times in a row .. keke =P Then it went downhill from there haha! =P

Love the hols.. hate the weather .. hate the fact that exams are in Jan and that i havent quite studied properly *sigh* For the past few days, planned to read at least 15mins per day... duiii~ Now its an hour per day ... we'll see =P Might watch movies later .. haha!

Olrite then ... toddlelooo~~ mwahs!

Tear drop Friday, December 30, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

I finally have the mood to blog, eversince i came back from Paris. *sigh* Bittersweet memories i tell you! pfft! Wana know what happened back in France? Both good and bad! "Bad??" u might ask urself... read on =P

1st Day

Arrived in Marne La Valle Chessy - Parc Disneyland around 1pm. The trip wasnt all bad. Just that i was pretty beat already. I just slept all the way to Paris. Went to check in to the hotel.. the hotel was alrite (Santa Fe) .. Just that they dont provide a kettle, and it was so cold there that we wanted something hot to drink.. pfft! Then, after some washing up, we went to the disneyland Park.

Oh wait .. before that, we went to Disney Village to get some food... McD's as usual. Fillet-O-Fish was pretty much our lunch for the rest of our days there. I aint eating tat for a while now =P

Then at the Park, we went to see the Disney Characters light up the Castle... Pretty! I'll post some pics .. insyAllah! Dayat sed the prince from "Beauty and the Beast" was hot!.. I didnt really get a good look at it.. But the guys there were gorgeous! =P

We were getting hungry by the time it finished, but we couldnt find anywhere to eat. Being ever so concious, it was so hard for us to find a decent thing to eat. So we just bought some bread and spread ... ate that for dinner! how great was that! haha =P We were all so tired by then, that we just went straight to sleep. I was so sick actually! Forced myself to eat some cough syrup! Pfft! Hate medicine!!!!

2nd Day

Spent the whole day basically in Disneyland! Went to both the Park and the Studio. Huge! We rode this RollingStones rollercoaster.. Oh gosh! Scared the living daylights out of me.. By the time it was finished, my heart was beating so fast! But it was fun... Loves it!

After having our dinner (McD's again!)... went around the park again. Wanted to watch the Parade but kinda missed it. So we just went over some rides.

3rd Day

Went to Paris! Our first stop was the Eiffel Tower. It was pretty cheap 10.70 Euros to get up to the highest level..... Until i realized that my wallet was gone!! PFFFFTT! Bloody hell! Banci berabis whoever took my wallet! I lost all my euro money which i brought to spend there, my brunei credit cards, my IC and some valuable pictures and stuffs. Hate it! =( I loved that purse. Nasib my UK cards and money was in my other wallet. Phew!

Tried to report to the police, but stupid police .. didnt speak a freaking english! When i decided not to spoil the day.. kesian jua the others... we moved on. Visited some other places like the Napoleon Tomb, Louvre Museum... took pictures saja tho. But loves all the pics! =)

We went back to Disneyland to watch the Parade. And do some shopping. Thanks Sayang for all the help! =)

Another problem was me n sayang's train tickets... I thought i placed it on the table in our room. But happens to be, it was in my beg. And for some strange reason.. the pickpocket-er took it! Hate it!! So sayang made some calls and resolved the problem. We had so much to do the next day.

Last Day

*Sigh* Woke up early. We were told to see someone at the reception by 8.45am so that one of them could accompany us to the police station, and translate for us. But apparently, it wasnt all arranged. So we had our breakfast first (btw, breakfast was free.. inclusive.. *burp* hehe)... then met up with the guy who was supposed to bring us to the station. His name was *something* alexandra....Nice guy!

My first time at the police station... funny thing, it was in Paris! haha! Also, after us .. there was another 2 groups of people of similar cases. Just shows how high crime is there =P After a while, finished the report. Got a police report IN FRENCH =P Hoping we could claim back the lost train tickets, we went to Eurostar. But unfortunately, we werent so lucky. Luck just wasnt on our side. We had to buy new tix. Damnit! Kesian Sayang had to pay for everything. He even gave me some money to spend for shopping after that =( I feel ever so guilty! Yet lucky!

After that... it was mostly about catching out train, sleeping in the train, getting hungry. Met the others at Brunei hall.. ate at Mawar in London. Then caught up to our train back to Cardiff. Tho we were sooo tired, we stayed awake to play Big Two. Addicted to that game... everyone is now =P

So.... despite the money-lost thing..... it was all fun in Paris. Enjoyable and definitely memorable... bittersweet! =P

THANK YOU sayang for everything! U've helped me ... and saying thanks is just not enuff. Im out peeps.. tired. Just watched movie tadi with everyone. Then peman n khai came over to hang out for a while and played cards. Hope to wake up early tomorrow.. cos wana go shopping... sale people! Boxing day! =) Money money money....

Tear drop Sunday, December 25, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

If you only really knew me
Maybe then you would see
That this smile covers up
All the pain I feel in me

If you only really knew me
Maybe then you would realize
That behind my hair and makeup
There's a little girl that cries

If you only really knew me
Maybe then you would see
That I'm a lot more messed up
Than the person I seem to be

If you only really knew me
Then I guess you'd finally know
That there's been nights I've cried myself to sleep
Coming close to letting go...

And if you only really knew me
You'd see I'm not so strong...
Though I seem like I don't care at all
About the things that have gone wrong

And if you only really knew me
You'd see me wipe the tears away
Waking up to another morning
Another day to act okay

Tear drop Saturday, December 17, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Awesome day! Though, the whole day i thought it was Saturday, for some strange reason.. hehe. Lost track of time i guess =P

Went skating tadi with the Brunei peeps. Loves it! It was kinda packed though.. its was a sold out session. It was actually the last session, 9.40pm. Pretty tiring i tell you. My feet hurts, so were everyone else's.

Then, we went our separate directions. But me? Went with some others to Venus to buy food. We were all starving! heee!

My train on Sunday to London is at 3.30 pm i think... arrive there around 6ish. I kinda dont have the mood to pack! Im too lazy. Leave it to the very last minute. Haha! Knowing me, i'll probably leave something very important at home, and probably remember about it the minute i have to get on the train. haha! Nauzubillah! =P

I'm still sick though! That aint good!! Im at the point where my voice will be gone soon.. hehe. I had to eat my ubat... but still the same outcome! I prefer not to eat any ubat actually! pfft! doesnt even work! Now i got flu.... which can cause headache for me. Aiyooo~

Oryt, gud nyt people. Im off to bed. Incase i dont blog for the next couple days... i'll be blogging after 22nd ... back from PARIS! =) I'll post some pics.. insyallah! Just to make u guys envy .. haha. Kidding! My excitement isnt really there...

Mwahs!

Tear drop Saturday, December 17, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Fuck this shit that's been going on around me! All this emotional rollercoaster. All this drama! I hate it!

Ignore that.. i just wanted to let it out! Since i cant really let it out to anyone else. I think its the time of the month again. Or maybe something bad is about to happen. Pffttt!

I havent been going to school these couple of days. I've been really sick. Had a terrible headache around 4am this morning *gosh* it felt like someone was stepping on my head. I had class at 9am, but the pain was unbearable. I might sound like a drama queen... but seriously... sorethroat + lil fever + serious headache.... not quite what you wana feel to an early lecture. *sigh* i feel crappier than ever!

There's skating tomorrow. They've changed it, instead of saturday. Cos apparently more people can make it tomorrow. Should i be going out in the cold with this condition? hee! i pretty much dont care.... i just wana have some fun! Done with the first semester... hols time! (exam's in january tho... but heck! enjoy first!) =P

Bahh.. im off. Kinda weak n tired ryt now. My throat's killing me ... but hey.... on the other hand, i sound sexy =P

Missing home badly *sigh* Never felt so far away from home *sob*

Tear drop Friday, December 16, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

im sickkk! uwaaa~ I had a fever last nite, and my throat hurts badly! I think i jinx-ed it ... i was saying "oh no.. i think im gona be sick" then banar! So i slept early til midnyt.. eat ubat. Then sambung sleep. Til tadi pagi. Had to miss class. I feel guilty cos i borrowed jacky's notes, and i told him i was gona give it back today. But i couldnt even stand up.. lamah berabis!

So didnt really do much today. Cept stay at home, til i felt better so i could take a shower. Then continued with copying down the notes. Til ryt now =P

Gona buy train tix tomorrow. To go to London on Sunday. That's bout 20+ pounds i think. *SIGH* money~ hehe. I wana work but there's just too much going on in school. No time to work. Plus im just plain lazy =P But i want money!! so i can shop~~ hehe

Oh peeps... watch James blunt's new video.. loves it! Mischa Barton is in it. She's so pretty! But in O.C ... i find Summer more gorgeous. Marissa's just pretty. Antah ahh..

Til next time... im off. Mwahs!

Tear drop Wednesday, December 14, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

I decided today that i'm not gona dwell in my sorrow. Im gona look pass thru everything, n just be happy for me! To those who have been messing with my life.... deal with ur own f*cking life! deal with ur own f*ckin problems! And mind your own f*cking business dude!

Anyhoo ... on a brighter note ... i bought new clothes today. hee! Was looking around to buy sumtin for my sisters... lain pulang nah. Was hoping to meet up anyone tadi... but no one familiar around. That's sumtin new... Owez ada at least one bruneian u'd happen to cross d town. I think everyone's busy with their work. Its the peak of the semester. And the hols is just around the corner. Work load is just too much! Im thru with mine ... lets hang out people! im totally bored! hee! =P

i was watching 'Meet the barkers' ... cool show. The couple's sweet to each other. Their baby has cool mohawk hair. Been watching it since summer. But never really saw their wedding day... until just now. it was awesome! Love shanna's dress! And the bridesmaid wore black dresses. Cool ahh! The theme was black n red.. loves it! =)

Oryt peeps .. wana go eat! Kebab n chips .... spoiling my tummy~ dududuu~ mwahs!

Tear drop Tuesday, December 13, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Havent been feeling well lately. Headaches come and go more often these days. I think its the cold. I gota get myself something to cover my head. I want one of those which covers the ears too. Wana go shop~~~ hee! Speaking of which, i havent bought anything for my papah n sisters. Just dont have the time. Got my mom this really cool beg.. i've actually considered to have it for myself. NO santy!.. its for mummy.. heee!

Skating session is on Saturday... insyallah! Hope everyone's coming. Come with people! Its gona be lotsa fun! Lets fall together .. LOL! =P That's 7pounds for an hour's skate. Money money money~ Like water i tell you~ hehe!

This is the last week of school. Then christmas hols! Off to Paris next Monday. I should be excited ryt? How come im full of mixed emotions? I dont know. My emotions are unstable these days. Brings me down everytime. And i hate it. I just wana spend the day without getting blinded by my emotions.

I've probably mentioned this in every post.... but i really DO miss home and my family! Sometimes i've reached the point where i just dont wana be here anymore. Knowing my family aint here to turn too.... breaks my heart. Sometimes i feel i got noone here. I feel those close to me have been taken away.

Oh gosh.. it must be that time of the month. Emotionally unstable. Emotional breakdown. Sucksss! I need to get out!

I better go ... before i get too emotional =P Mwahs!

p/s: Bring it poojas! I seriously wana re-live that moment in Kajang.. hee! Cant wait! Miss u guys loads!

Tear drop Monday, December 12, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

I'm so lost in this world,
Everywhere seems dark,
I feel so alone,
And I'm counting the marks.

Everything is so wrong,
I feel so scared,
I need somebody to save me,
Somebody who cares.

I feel so dead,
So shattered inside,
Nobody understands,
Why I curl away and hide.

My life is a mess,
World so dead,
I'm slowly loosing grip,
Slipping from the thoughts in my head.

Nothing is the same,
So many changes,
It's getting hard to adjust,
More when it rearranges.

My heart is dying,
My four walls falling,
Once again after so many,
My whole life stalling.

Everything has seemed to stop,
It's like nothing exists anymore,
I have not got the strength,
To lift the broken pieces up off the floor.

I can't be strong,
Or do anything right,
Just a worthless mistake,
That cries itself to sleep at night.

That is so broken,
Caught up in memory swirls,
A worthless mistake,
That lives in a dead world.

Tear drop Saturday, December 10, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Such a tiring but fun day today =) Went to Bristol to support the cardiff guys in this Malaysian games. Our guys made it thru the quarter finals, which was good enuff from my point of view, despite the lack of proper training they had. Well done guys! Go cardifff~~

Im thru with assignments, tests and coursework for this semester! Alhamdullilah! Im just mentally exhausted at this point, that when i handed in my final coursework.. i felt sOo relieved! A heavy load off my shoulder! Next week is the last week of our first semester. But that doesnt quite mean all fun during hols. Cos i just got my exam timetable.

16th Jan - Computing 2
17th Jan - Thermodynamics and Heat transfer
23rd Jan - Fluid Mechanics
25th Jan - Engineering Analysis
27th Jan - Materials n Manufacture

Notice the gaps in between.... pffttt! So much for having lotsa time to revise! Hehe. I really gota do well for my exams. It counts for my final year. *gosh!*

Ryt now .. i wana appreciate the moment. Every day i dont have work to do! heee! =P Oh which reminds me, i gota do some shopping for people back home. My dad kirim M&S work trousers. The last time he came here, he pasted his measurements for his pants on my side wardrode. Now, i dont have any excuses not to buy for him =P Nadabah.. i wanted to buy something for him =) I'll probably just past the goodies to anyone who's going back. LOTS are actually going backk... Eeeeeee!! jealous berabissss!!! Inda nyaman rasa hati, inda balik nie~~~

anyhoo... im off to eat dinner for the 2nd time tonite. Blame the weather!! =P alritey... mwahs people! =)

Tear drop Saturday, December 10, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Im so over my head about my coursework! Tomorrow's the due date and for the past few days ... i've at least spent 4hours infront of the school's pc *gosh* My back hurts so badly ryt now. N clever me to do sit ups last nite, that my hips hurt too ;( hehe.. oh well.. I just wana get my assignments over with ... pffftt!!

I might be going to Bristol this Saturday. Support our Cardiff guys in the footy competition! We'll see.... i aint got no more assignments.. that's one good thing. I'm just waiting whether my gurls decided to go or not.

Im soooo tired! I dont think i'm gona sleep tonite. Finish up my assignments.. submit! THen baru balik home and sleep. HAH! I dont think so... my sleep is too important for me =P

I wana balikkkk~~~ I miss my poojassss~~ *sob*sob*

I just got back from school. Im gona get something to eat. Its nearly 8pm btw. Gosh! Its not that i did my assignments at the last minute. Its the damn program! Wont execute til tadi late afternoon... pfffftt! Hate this!

alritey.. im hungry~ mwahs!

Tear drop Thursday, December 08, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

I just got back from school. I had one class this morning at 11-12noon. But i stayed back til late 4ish. Didnt even realize it was that late. I was at the pc room with Peman tryin to finish up our coursework. But pfftt..... bloody programming! =P Now my back hurts.. even more than before. I think i sit infront of the pc a lil too much. I want a full body massage!! Anyone?

Christmas Hols is around the corner. Why do i feel so nervous n worried about it? I should feel gud about it ryt? Nope... not feeling that. Maybe cos i wana balik. Maybe .. i dont know. Hate this feeling. Just wana go thru it...

Im not really in the mood to blog ryt now.. That's all i guess. Havent been feeling well lately... Emotionally n physically. *sigh*

im out~ mwahs!

Tear drop Tuesday, December 06, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Mondays feel so great without any tests early in the morning! LOL! But yeah... its still hard for me to wake up in the morning. Im practically dragging myself to school! That aint good~

Anyhoo... went to watch DOOM yesterday afternoon. I think the movie was made intentionally to make people scream. I was sitting next to Ka Joy ... and we both were like screaming to each other. LOL! But the 'org putih' didnt even scream a bit. What's wrong with them?? They probably went "asians~ tsk tsk" LOL! Good movie tho'.. dont mind watching it again. Next weekend..... Chronicles of Narnia. Come with people... the more the merrier =)

Oh yeah... CONGRATS to my sis ZARA! For passing your PMB. Told you, u could it. U did us proud =) *hugs* What's papah getting you? No useless stuff please! Ask him to buy a return ticket to UK to visit ur sis! haha =P

I was chatting with Aimi yesterday.... She sent me lots of voice records of her singing! haha! That made my day.. *hugs* But omg! Mie... jgntah jadi penyanyi! U'll never go far... LOL! =P

I dreamt last night that i was back in Brunei. I was kind of sad about it... i actually cried after dat. Cos there were parts in my dream tat i was really sad about ;(

Alritey... Got work to do. Better get to it. I have two work to submit this Friday. How great! But after that .. weee~ no more assignmentS! mwahs!

Tear drop Monday, December 05, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Too much Drama here man! i NEED to get outta here *sigh* i think people care too much about other people's lives. As if they dont have their own life to deal with and own problems to solve. They just HAVE to mess with other people's lives. Mind your own business dudes n dudettes!

We had BDSSW meeting yesterday. Lil Miss Prez was quite disappointed as to how many people showed up. Tsk Tsk! But yea, its the peak of the semester. Others got tests n the work load is just too much.

There's this bowling tourney the commitee is gona organise. It was suppose to be in Dec but lots are going back home. So being postponed to after exams in Jan. Cant wait! Ka joy n me were like ... lets team up! And abg aming n erwan were too cocky that we really wana beat them now! hahah kidding guys =P But nahh.. we dont know who's gona team up with who. Its gona be drawn from a hat.. if u get what i mean. I just want a good partner... I love challenges! Bring it on... haha!

Anyhoo... im gona take a bath now. A new start of the day. It has owez been an interesting everyday for me. n at the end of the day.... well... it sums it all up.

" It's just emotions taking me over
Tied up in sorrow, lost in my soul" Emotions - Destiny's Child

Tear drop Sunday, December 04, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

"Everybody talks bad about somebody
and never realises how much it affects somebody.
and you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be

People are all the same
we only get judged by what we do
my personality reflects me
if i'm ugly then so are you"

Sugarbabes - UGLY

Tear drop Friday, December 02, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

*sigh* Such a gloomy day today.... It has been raining since a couple of days ago. And the rain is soooo cold that if it hits my head.... headache! aiyoo.. soo sensitive lah my head. I dont know why. Been having headaches lately. Well, selalu pulang since lama udah. Its definitely not migraine. I hope not =P Sumtimes it hurts so bad that i lay on my bed and sleep it off the whole day. Me and medicines dont really match.. i HATE havin to eat one! Unless i really really really have to =P

i havent been hanging out much lately. Its either im in school or at home. In between... there's the bus ride home and to school =P Havent been eating healthily either. Gosh... miss having an amah... seriously! haha. I dont care if that sounded so spoiled.... but i bet everyone does! pfftt!

i LOVE my papah! Thanks pah! (u know what i talking about) heeee! <3 I miss you all berabis! Wana balikkkk~ Mayb easter yea? hugsss!

Thought of the moment:
Why do we ask ourselves a lot of questions? Making life harder than it is. Having doubts. Bringing problems that shouldnt even be a big deal. Oh well... C'est La Vie. And we're just humans! Deal with it!

I wana listen to Airholes' new songs! Dani~~ Azam~~ got any? mwahs!

Tear drop Friday, December 02, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli

Im in school.. waiting for my next class, which is about an hour more. *sigh* I hate having to wait for classes. Makes me lazy n sleepy! Especially when ur break is 3 hours! gosh! If only my house was near enuff for me to balik first then come back! But im too lazy. The weather here is sooo not for me. Its too cold! And VERY unpredictable! I cant stand the cold to my head, easy for me to get headaches *pffft!* But oh well... its only for another 4 months or so?! erkkk! hehe!

Having a friendster account can be such a pain at times. But other times, it brings smile to ur face. Like just now, got new testimonials from my poojas. Gosh! I love them so much! I was feeling down until i read the testimonials. *hugggsss*

Im kinda regretting that im not going back tis December. It sucks to know that im the only pooja not in Lambak this Dec. But on a brighter side, im off to Paris. And i think the commitees have activities planned out for this hols. Got another BDSSW meeting this saturday. I'm still deciding to join paintball or not. If yes, i gota pay £10 for deposit. Remind myself to bring money to meeting! Yes, i AM forgetful! Most of the time =P

I got a start on my computing coursework. Hope to finish it by this week... then i have to do the documentation. Such a bum! Kan holidays already. There shouldnt me any more work! On the other hand, maybe it should. So we wont have any work over the hols! heee! =) But exams after hols suck! pfft! =P

Speaking of exams, BEST of LUCK to my chubbs... exams on the 7th n 13th. Lucky bum! For one thing, he only has two papers to sit. Another thing.. he doesnt have to worry about exams over the hols! booo!! So jealous! =P

im out... mwahs!

Tear drop Thursday, December 01, 2005 of Normalini a.k.a Santy Rosli